


things you said when you thought i was asleep

by enkelimagnus



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Immortality Talk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 21:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15894864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enkelimagnus/pseuds/enkelimagnus
Summary: Prompt 12. things you said when you thought i was asleep / Magnus x Alec





	things you said when you thought i was asleep

“You said you couldn’t fall asleep without me.”

Magnus was lying in bed, curled up on his usual side, the side he’d taken since Alec had started sleeping here every other night, and then every night, and then also the nights where he only had a couple hours.

He hadn’t lied, but he could hear a hint of sadness in Alec’s voice when he walked into the room. Alec couldn’t know that he wasn’t asleep, that he was just lying there eyes closed, trying desperately to fall asleep and forget that he was alone tonight.

He felt the bed dip in and his heart stopped for a second, and he wondered whether he should show that he was still awake. Maybe once Alec was settled, he would surprise him and give him a bit of a scare.

Alec’s arm wrapped around Magnus’ waist, gentle but firm enough to pull him back against his chest. He had a shirt on, as usual, and he seemed tired, sleep already heavy in his breath and in his body. Magnus wanted to kiss him goodnight. He was about to turn around, and smile at him, and see that gorgeous smile of Alec’s, when the man spoke.

“One day I’m going to lose all of them.” He started, so close that Magnus could feel the air coming out of his mouth as he modelled sounds and syllables. He could almost hear the way his mouth moved to speak. “I’m going to lose all of them. They’re not going to come home from a hunt and I’m going to be alone.”

Magnus wanted to rage against that, no, Alec would never be alone, and he would have him, forever, Magnus would be there, and he would always be there, no matter what.

“This is what it must feel like for you. When you look at me.” He whispered again and Magnus almost made a pained sound. The crushing in his heart whenever he thought of the future was sometimes hard to contain.

“I don’t want you to be in pain, Magnus.” Alec whispered. “I don’t want you to be alone. Because if you’re not alone, then I am not alone either. You, and I, it’s going to be us, forever. Not alone, we’ll have each other.”

“I’m going to miss them. But you’d miss me too. I’ll avoid you one more heartbreak. Because I want you to be happy forever.” Magnus was close to tears but he kept himself together. This shouldn’t be why Alec was taking his decision, that should be his decision, not some altruistic act of benevolence towards Magnus.

Magnus wanted to riot, but he also wanted to be selfish and curl up in the knowledge that Alec wouldn’t leave him. It was warm and soft and beautiful of an idea, and he was like a cat next to the fireplace, soaking in the warmth of that future.

There was a silence, and then something breathed so softly, so low, that Magnus almost missed it, it was lost in the press of Alec’s lips against his throat, where he could maybe feel how his heart was racing.

“I found a way.”


End file.
